VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY

Saturday April 1st: - Woke up - neck locked & leaning to left. Did a bit of yoga - slightly better. Car boot sale with Jenny ... overloaded with items. Must stop this - house far too overcrowded but got lovely red silk heart for Feng Shui Love corner.
Meeting some Welsh bloke tomorrow from Celestial Spirits column.

Sunday: Met Idris - nice bloke, but not my type. Thought I was off the planet, but wanted to see me again anyway. Thought he said he was supervisor in garbage industry - had visions of him at wheel of bin lorry. Was actually in garage industry! (It was the accent). Anyway - that’s my car sorted.

Monday: Didn’t sleep well at all - both cats on bed - one on each foot. Tired, but am starting diet today - sure I’m allergic to wheat.

J rang - said she’d missed appointment for monogram at hospital - she meant mammogram! Her malapropisms are becoming more frequent these days - rather worrying! Will start diet tomorrow now as have been given recipe for fat burning soup & will have to prepare. Went to off-licence - got 2 Crunchie bars & bar of Fruit & Nut. Don’t feel guilty, as is last fling before new eating plan.

Tuesday: Lazed around trying to relax. Neck gave resounding crack after 3rd playing of hypnosis tape - what a relief! Bought ingredients for F.B. soup - whole cabbage, celery, onions, tomatoes & peppers. V tired again - maybe it’s hormonal?
Felt rather bilious after 5th bowl of F.B. soup but am determined to stick it out. The more soup consumed - the faster the weight loss.

9pm: 2 tins Tesco Value rice pudding with jam. Blood sugar must have been low - will be O.K. tomorrow.

Wednesday: Idris rang - will see him Sat. Is going to look at crankshaft on car - don’t feel guilty as am going to cook him meal.

Thursday: Out for lunch with J. - had been for belated mammogram but told Dr she’s having lot of pre-mental tension - bit tongue as don’t like to correct her all the time.

Fiona rang. There’s a Feng Shui course starting Sept. - am going to enrol.

Friday: V. tired again. Have bought some glucosamine – hope it works.
Tescos shopping - got back & thought could detect offensive odour as walked in house. Traced it to cauldron of F.B. soup on cooker - had forgotten all about it. Went through whole pack of incense sticks -‘Spiritual Love’- my favourite.

7pm: J rang. Is going to Singles’ club with ex. - wanted me to go so it wouldn’t look like they were an item - said no as moribund after mowing lawn.

Saturday: Forgot what a bind it is when dating - had to spring clean house, move clutter etc. Absolutely exhausted by time Idris appeared - in sandals! Told him not to worry re: crankshaft as had had it sorted (couldn’t face seeing him again). Endured evening - think I’d rather be on my own.

Sunday: Car boot sale again - nearly bought foot spa and Daniel O’Donnell LP but controlled self. Did buy Carmen rollers though - like new for £5! Am going to start diet again tomorrow.